Air Brakes by Bobbi McGee

 Let me take you back a few days, I’m home from working my 9 to 5 trying to accomplish a few things on our household list. I figure the more I can cross off on my own the more time my trucker husband and I can spend together when he gets off the road. Most days I stay warp speed busy and try not to dwell on his being away but this particular day its gnawing at me. Now other trucker wives I’ve spoken with have agreed that you learn the unique sound of your man’s truck. They do sound a tad bit different and being around one over time you pick it up pretty quickly. They also agree with me that no other sound will get your immediate attention like air brakes when his truck pulls in. On this day I had the blinds open a crack to add sunlight to the room and lift my spirits. I caught a bit of motion outside the window and then I heard it. “Phssssh!” I knew right away what it meant. My heart jumped in my chest that tap of excitement and I headed toward the door. It can be tough on a trucker’s wife when she steps into the leadership roll for a few weeks and has the weight of the household to bear and then he comes home so it’s immediately time to step over to the supporting wife role. Neither one of these are easy but it is the transition from one to the other that is the real challenge and causes some of the biggest road blocks in a trucking marriage. Every husband wants to feel like the king of his castle, in this case, the castle he hardly ever sleeps in yet he pulls 14 hour days to help pay for. So letting him take the lead when he is here is essential and in some ways it gives me a break. Running out to the driveway I give my husband a quick hug and he says he is glad to be home. It took me several months and hurt feelings later to understand when we first married that he would not ready for 100% of my attention the moment he gets in. He has been alone for days and not had people coming at him with a bunch of conversation so I give him a chance to deal with his log and necessary paper work and carry his bag in. He is not being a jerk like you might assume, it’s a transition for him going from highway to living room. He usually hits the shower and then we talk and I tell him my news and catch him up on the family life. He shares what he has seen lately and his next dispatch to leave out again.  It’s kind of a process for him to acclimate back into our home like it is for me when he leaves. As a new bride years ago I didn’t have an instruction manual on how best to love a truck driver and he definitely didn’t know how to help me. None of our friends understood this life.  It has been a long process of figuring things out and I think that is why so many fail, because they had no idea how hard it could really be. Infatuation wears down quickly so you better have built real love. Sometimes it is still hard to balance it all. Plenty of tears have been shed over the years and boy could we argue over absolutely nothing. If I didn’t have my faith to fall back on I’m sure I would have waived the white flag by now but anything that is worth having is worth working for. I am thankful he feels the same way. Being a trucking family brings more unique challenges which we will dive into later, but there is still nothing better than those air brakes in the driveway.