30-Weight Life, by Bobbi McGee

The story of Paul & Denise;

Walking through the parking lot with the smell of diesel in the blustery air, looking over the remaining row of trucks, many with chicken lights still ablaze, gave me a pang of sadness because Mid America Trucking Show 2023 was at an end. It had been an exciting weekend of big rigs, great music, and making new friends. It was at that moment I knew I had to return next year because I still wanted to hear one more artist I had missed. It was then I picked up on a song faintly in the air, walking toward the sound, I took a few last pictures as I began to recognize the melody. Smiling to myself I wondered who was playing my kind of music, which is to say “songwriters” music. There is something to be said about authenticity and the ability to tell a story set to music. A trucker standing by this Great Dane stainless trailer with soft light streaming down toward us made eye contact with me as I asked, “Are you listening to Long Haul Paul?” He shook his head, “Listening? Well yeah...he is in there.” I stood dead still, “He is in there right now?” I asked. With a big grin he said, “He sure is, you wanna come in?” Tripping over my own feet I stumbled forward, “Absolutely,” I replied, “I am a big fan of his writing.” I climbed up the steps into Brandon Carpenter’s custom trailer dubbed “The Ole Iron Bar.” I took the only empty seat lined all the way down the length of the 45-footer, across from a pretty lady in boots and a flannel shirt. There next to us sat “Long Haul Paul” Marhoefer, his standard overalls, trademark hat, and leather boots patting out time as his well-worn black guitar drove the rhythm to “Beans and Corn.” I settled in as his harmonica whaled, it was gritty, and it was fascinating. “…Five-Hour Energy and Marlboro Red, case of Red Bull to keep my demon fed yeah…” I noticed immediately that the crowd were as captivated as I, as the story line played out. 

The pretty lady in boots and a flannel shirt watched intently with a quiet smile on her lips. Between songs I spoke to her briefly, “Did you enjoy the truck show?” With a glint in her eyes, she said, “We were able to walk around a little while today and look, there were a lot of beautiful trucks.” In agreement I said, “I heard they had over 100,000 people come through this weekend, it was awesome.” I noticed under her chair was an unzipped bag with a few hats sticking out. Just as I recognized the LHP logo, Long Haul Paul asked a question and she answered him. Just then a lite bulb went off in my head as I quickly surmised she was Denise Marhoefer, the wife of Long Haul Paul.

Story after story his lyrics about life, love and trucking spilled out that night painting a picture of his life on the road and their life outside of the cab. To close the show, he belted out a spirited version of 30-Weight Coffee, which everyone including myself already knew the words, “…well there’s a sweet solemn stillness that steals over you… when you’re west of Dodge City doing a hundred and two… as all your misspoken words and all the birthday’s you’ve missed fall like smoke butts to the blacktop as you break fourth into bliss…” Denise seemed to lean in and embrace the lyrics as she quietly nodded her head to the familiar melody of a hard working man focused on accomplishing a dream while being forced to sacrifice life with his family. This is the hamster wheel known all too well by truck drivers all over the nation. As the saying goes “When you’re paid to run, you’re paid to leave.” 

After the show I stood talking with Denise as she introduced me to Paul, though I felt as if I already knew them with so much of their past coming alive before me lyric by lyric. She explained to me how they grew up together with Paul being best friends with her brother Hank all throughout school. Their families had even attended the same church, which if you know much about the Midwest, that is a big connection. Later when Paul was nineteen, Hank even convinced his parents to let Paul move in briefly. Paul said he, “definitely noticed Hank’s little sister down the hall.” Denise said, “Our first official date was in the park, sharing a glass of Asti Spumante by the river.” As time went on, they grew even closer. One night Paul called her from the road, on an available land line, which was a trucker’s lifeline back in the day. It was during a particular problem-solving discussion about an annoying ex-boyfriend, Paul uttered to her, “Well if we were married, he wouldn’t be able to bother you anymore.” It was then that Denise surprised him with the sweet reply of “okay.” Paul said he had no idea he was going to ask her to marry him when he awoke in the sleeper that morning, it just happened. He grinned down at me while explaining in his introspective way, “an older more sophisticated Paul would have held off until dinner, but I wasn’t very good at ceremony back then.” I can say many fans are thankful for his utterance that night because their lives together, along with the stories of tumultuous love, are uniquely paired with the strife of everyday life over the road to which his trucking classics have developed.

I asked Denise what she felt the most important trait would be for any woman to handle life as a trucker’s wife, she said, “Faith," "It’s not hard to be faithful when you really love someone, despite the solitude.” When I asked her what the biggest adjustment was to being married to a man over the road, she said, “You learn to pray, you need that,” to which Paul replied, “and you need a bit of bullheadedness.” Denise had no idea while watching Paul sing at family functions years before, that they would one day build their own family, including 4 kids and 7 grandkids, all while they carved out their own musical niche together. Denise not only manages the social media and photographic web presence of Long Haul Paul Music, she also serves as musical collaborator and lyrics editor during his song writing process. That is on top of her demanding role of running their Indiana farm and being the matriarch of the Marhoefer Family. Denise reflected on a few road stories with me, one in particular about the time they played a show in New York, got lost and ended up at Niagara Falls or the fact that she never passes a Flapjacks while in the hills of Tennessee, that they don’t stop for a quick bite of southern style breakfast.

With an ever-growing catalog of songs, I wanted to know which one spoke the deepest to her heart, to this she said “God and God Alone,” which is the reflective story of the struggles both she and Paul faced after a 2001 near fatal head-on semi wreck left him partially disabled for over seven months while trying to provide for his wife and children. As the lyrics flow, “…all I can say was God and God alone…took us here, from there.” They have overcame their share of obstacles, but they only served to bring them closer together. Paul penned a lovingly worded ballad for Denise titled, “She Never was Nothin'," in which he described her as being his lifeline and that her faith saved him during a desperate time in his life where he felt hopeless and struggled to recover from such a traumatic accident. Adjusting to an unwelcomed “new normal" brought its own set of challenges into the relationship which they defeated over time providing the additional fuel for his writing fire. 

Paul's words stand as a testament to all who will listen, Denise Marhoefer is not just a trucker’s wife. She is a business partner, manager, and the love of his life. She is the best friend who willingly sacrifices herself in support of Paul. They fight for a shared lyrical dream one mile at a time. Their music is our window, providing transparent glimpses into the intimate world of man and wife. Whether it is helpfully leading him or quietly following him, no matter where the road may lead, Denise travels hand in hand with Paul living out their “30-Weight Life.”    

Long Haul Paul Music 

Photo courtesy of LHP Music Inc.